At times like this I wish I had the theoretical language, an academic way of articulating things that would add gravitas, complexity, a kind of kinkiness and sagacity to a discussion about this clip of a young man with a big fat dick being filmed by a group – how many? three? four? – of young women fascinated by the size of his cock. The essay (is that what it would be?) would address, amongst other things, the fact that he is a man of colour, Latino perhaps, or mixed race, or a light-skinned black man (the question of race and classification and the fetishising of the dark penis, because, really, in the clip there is only talk of the cock and what it can do) and that the young women, although we don’t see them (just flashes of parts of their bodies), sound white. These young white women are not seen, but heard, and it is for their gaze that the young man performs, first in what seems like a hotel room, and then in the shower in the adjoining bathroom. For their gaze he fluffs up his cock, treats it like a thing, bounces it, swings it, lets one of the girls drape it over her arm to demonstrate its thickness.
“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done?” one of the girls asks.
“This,” he says.
Does he even know this clip is being thrown about on tumblr? And even though he says “You better not get my face in this” his face is very much part of the story, his bashful smile, his sense of pride and glee and a willingness to please. Don’t all young men want to please, to feel wanted. And he pleases with his accent too, doesn’t want to stand out for anything but his cock. And what is the accent? It pops out at odd times in the clip, mainly when he says “Oh, my God” which is usually when the girl who is filming asks him to do something that surprises him, or as a kind of externalisation at the wonder and the voices that are going on inside him, the sounds of his family, his friends back home.
“It’s beautiful,” the young white woman says when he first plops it out from his shorts. “Will you jump on the bed for me?”
“Jump on the bed?” he says, a tiny pause between each word. “I’m not jumping on the bed. You wanna take a shower?”
“Will you do a striptease for me first?” the girl says.
And he does, for her and for the other girls in the room, and now for us, for thousands of us, watching this boy with the indeterminate accent and the massive cock pulling off his white shorts that almost glow against his brown skin and step into the shower.
He could be Jewish, too. I have cousins on my father’s side who are as dark as him, even darker, who are spoken to in Spanish because people assume they are Latino. He is, whatever he is, Other. The academic essay would address that, and the otherness of his accent, an accent that exposes him as being from a place where people do not flaunt their bodies, where people are still getting used to the pornisation of everyday life. Like England, for example. His accent is English, or it could be antipodean. But it is not, as he claims to be, from New York.
“Stay far away so I can get all of you,” the woman with the camera says.
The place where I first came across the clip was in an online album of photos and videos for gay men. It’s called Naked (Hot) Gay Guys. This is not the source of the film, but it is where I first came across it, it is where the film is. The source seems to be Emma’s Wall of Fame. The woman with the camera could be Emma, but I doubt it. It is hard to say who is the source of anything on tumblr.
The young man says he doesn’t want to do it. There are certain things he won’t do.
“I’m not dancing” he says when asked. “You get the shower.”
“Get all soapy for me,” the girl says.
“Nah, come on with the soapy,” he says. “No, no more.”
“Do you know any tricks?” the girl says, and the camera stays zoomed in on his middle, on his trimmed bush (that he claims not to trim), and the big brown penis that looks like… like… itself, with the kind of girth and weight a penis would be that is 9.5″ when hard. It is not a serpent, not a trunk, though perhaps it is closer to a trunk than it is to a snake, but it is more abstract than that, it is reassurance and wonder and relief and a comfort. I am not a size-queen (have I said this before? Am I protesting too much?) but a particularly large cock, or is it just a particularly beautiful man, makes me feel like a pilgrim arriving at his destination.
“I bet that’ll fit all the way round your wrist,” the camera-woman says to the young man.
“No,” he says, “that is not happening,” he says, and as if protest and rising to a dare were the same thing, he curls his cock around his arm.
“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” she says.
“This,” he says, his accent now relaxing into confession, for he is no longer talking to them. “This is by far the craziest thing I’ve ever done.”
And as the clip ends, for they have run out of things to say, for the fun is over and they must either fuck or press stop, which in the end they do, the girl says, “Alright, baby, you’re hot.”
And the boy smiles, too, as if this was his pleasure in life.